I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
