Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
