tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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