it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
