dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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