I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
