I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
