so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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