if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
