Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize