At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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