I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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