so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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