The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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