I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize