It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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