he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
