why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize