Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
