It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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