im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize