My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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