Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
