South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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