if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
