YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
