Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
