You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
