theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
