i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
