standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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