i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
