You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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