I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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