My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize