my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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