He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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