I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
