You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
