the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
