We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize