Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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