I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
