between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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