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I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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