My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
