Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
