I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
