I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
