Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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