Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
