I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Sext me about skeletons
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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