I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love makes seman taste better
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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