East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
