I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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