yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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