just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
