I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.