Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
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There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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