yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My day in three words: secret purse cake
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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